In the public interest I want to report a key finding from personal research: alcohol is not a performance enhancing drug.
Here's what happened: today Megan graduated from Elementary School. (Yay, Megan, congratulations! - that's her walking up to get her diploma at right...) And afterward we had a celebratory lunch, together with several other families. And we had some Pinot Grigio. Some. And for whatever reason, thus far unexplainable by science, white wine in the afternoon hits me harder than red wine at night. So I was buzzed.
Later I went for a bike ride; one of my "usual" routes through Westlake and Hidden Hills, about 25 miles. Not good. I was tired, weak, slow, and unmotivated. I couldn't climb worth a lick. I couldn't even descend. I was passed by small children on tricycles. I thought perhaps I would ride my way to being sober, gaining strength in the process, but it didn't happen; I finished as weak and listless as I started. It was easily my slowest time ever on that ride.
Anyway with this experiment in hand, I can report: alcohol is not a performance enhancing drug. I don't think your mileage will vary.